The Unauthorized Memwahs of a Flea

The Kristina Wagner Story

Chapter Four: The Arrival of Felicia Scorpio-Jones!

Above: A scene from Kristina Wagner's failed screentest for the lead in "The Exorcist"

Above: Kristina's screentest failed because she insisted on fluffy handcuffs!

When Kristina Wagner arrived at ABC Studios in Los Angeles, she was told she would have to work harder at her craft in order to secure the role of Felicia. Never one to give up, Kristina worked her butt off to become a great actress. Months later, she would have to settle with just becoming a "better" actress. She worked so hard that she barely spent any time with her friends, explaining that her career was consuming all of her energy and time now.

Click here as Felicia explains her priorities to a friend

And it indeed paid off for Kristina. In no time, the little girl from Indianapolis was given the coveted role of Felicia -- lover of Frisco Jones, mother to Maxi and Georgie, private eye, adventurer, nose crinkler extraordinaire!

Who can forget her first appearances on the show! With her long blonde locks tucked under a cap and her curves hidden under bulky clothing, Felicia tried to trick Frisco into believing that she was a boy. Frisco didn't buy it. Maybe it's because Felicia was too pretty and feminine and couldn't hide it, no matter how she disguised herself. Maybe it's because Frisco the lady-killer could smell a female from a mile away. Or maybe it's because Felicia made herself suspect by insisting over and over again that she *was* a boy.

Click to hear Felicia asserting her "masculinity"

Felicia was an instant hit with General Hospital viewers. She was cute, she was perky, she had blindingly white teeth -- most importantly, her ass was firmly perched on the back burner, where her fans could enjoy her and detractors could ignore her. Unfortunately, that was going to change. Kristina threatened to leave GH unless she was given a better storyline and was given the prime role of Luke Spencer's first post-Laura love interest. Maybe fans didn't like her because they wanted Luke and Laura together. Maybe they didn't like her because her voice gave them seizures. Or maybe, and most likely, they just didn't like her because of the following four reasons:

All of the above causes viewers everywhere to ask the eternal question:


Scrinch!	Scranch!	Scrench!	Scrunch!