Dearest Stavros,

Oh, how I have longed for you from afar. Such a tall, dark, handsome, lurking bastard with those tightly-buttoned shirts and the hyuck hyuck toothy smile. Oh, Stavros! I can't tell you how much I enjoyed our date the other night -- the conversation, the moonlight stroll on the Pier, the way you pretended to not want to pay the bill at the Port Charles Grille. Oh but I played along, didn't I, Stav? I took out my Visa card and charged it all! Too bad they had to cut it up like that :(

I'll never forget the look on your face when I arrived for our date. Is there even a word that adequately describes the expression on your face when we met? Is "disappointment" REALLY enough to describe the down-turned mouth, the hint of a pout, the hint of disgust as you eyed my leather skirt and heavily-unbuttoned blouse? Stav, I only wanted to show you how much of a woman I was, my darling!

"Take her away," you said. Oh darling, what a wonderful sense of humour you have! Perhaps it was my hearty laugh that finally and completely won you over? The way I snorted as I chuckled? The champagne that came shooting out my nose? The caviar I spat out as I laughed, which landed right on those freshly-pressed pants of yours?

Or maybe you were charmed and intrigued, as have so many men before you, with my wit and grace! I can't help but recall the soft smile that crossed your tender lips when I told the waiter to put my leftovers in a doggy bag. Oh, Stavros! I can't help it, my love! Forevermore, that baggy marked "PC Grille, Mac Cheese Combo" will remind me of you. Never shall I throw it out! Never shall I brush the traces of it from my teeth! Nay, not even FLOSS shall separate me from the very plaque caused by the meal we shared by candlelight. That is the depth of my devotion to you, my love!

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