General Shmospital Recap
for January 21 - January 25
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*** Sonny and the French Lieutenant's Woman lurked in the bushes and spied on AJ and Courtney, who were frolicking in the park. The French Lieutenant's Woman followed Sonny out of the bushes and began reciting AJ's ancient history. Sonny grabbed Courtney roughly by the arm and Courtney said she was sure glad that Sonny had a policy against harming women and that she was pretty sure the bruises on her upper arm would heal quickly enough. Sonny offered to make it up to her by buying her dinner since, because she was his sister, he couldn't make it up to her with sex, the way he "makes up for" his abuse of every other woman in his life. Courtney agreed to dine with him, provided the Meryl Streep wannabe stay behind. "Don't talk to her that way!" Sonny growled. "Only *I* may degrade and denigrate Carly!" Courtney apologized. Carly squeezed her thighs. *** Jax told Skye to break the pattern of getting her heart stomped on, and then laughed in her face when she started confiding in him. "Not with ME," he laughed. "For pete's SAKE, woman!"
*** The Quartermaines hovered over Edward as
his condition deteriorated. The Ghost of Edward, however, roamed around
the room, trying to plead with his family not to let the REAL angel of
death, Lila, come visit him again. "She's been tampering with my
medication!" the Ghost of Edward yelled, but the Q's in the room were
oblivious to his yelling, as they were too busy trying not to look TOO
awkward not saying or doing anything during the weird silences in the
scenes where the Ghost of Edward spoke. Later, Alan accused Melissa of
wrongdoing after Edward signed over his money to her. Melissa said she'd
done nothing wrong and said she sure as FUCK didn't leave As The World
Turns just to be treated like this. |
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*** Alexis and Scotty had a FABULOUS evening out together, filled with romance, laughter and great food and wine! They vowed to get together again real soon! *** Carly continued to blah blah at AJ in the park, snickering at him for not being HALF the man that Sonny is. She added that she should have KNOWN he was a failure of a man that first night they slept together. "Ha!" AJ said, "That was Sean Kanan, not me! So nyah nyah nyahhh!" Carly tried to take a swing at AJ, apparently hoping to re-create the exact mood that had prevailed on the night she lost her and Sonny's hate child. An undercover cop asked AJ if he wanted to press charges. AJ considered it for a moment but decided that Carly suffered infinite more brutality at the hands of her husband than she ever would or could in prison, so he decided to drop it. He told Carly that he was surprised by her because she used to have some pride. "That was Sarah Brown, not me!" Carly snarled. AJ walked away with a villainous smile on his face. *** Sonny grabbed Courtney again at the Port Charles Grill and told her she'd better not make him break his rule about harming women. Again. Courtney stood up to Sonny, which really wasn't hard since, even in stocking feet, she was easily an inch or two taller than him.
*** Alexis brought Courtney back to the penthouse and Sonny showed up to
snivel and whine some more and bang his iddy biddy fisty on da tabow a few
mow times and break a vase or two. "Agga Bagga Boo-goo Boog-goo," he said before
slamming the door on his way out. Alexis
followed him and told Sonny, "We are going to fuck about this. I
mean TALK about this. Did I say fuck? he he. Dunno where THAT one came
from, he he." |
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*** Sonny told Alexis that he was sick of Mike's whining about the past and Alexis told him to get used to it, since whining apparently ran in the family. Sonny felt all better after speaking with Alexis and told her it was safe for her to slosh her wet panties back to her own penthouse. "Is it that obvious?" Alexis giggled. "It's okay, I'll tell Johnny to get the mop," Sonny said. He then smiled and showed his dimples and Alexis took a raft back to her penthouse. *** Mike went to see Janine and was surprised when she handed him a bill for all the child support he never paid. "This is for all the money you stole from me," she said, "and for Courtney's braces, cello lessons, specially-fitted ballet shoes--" Janine shut up when she realized Mike was long gone and that she was actually talking to a puff of smoke in the shape of Mike, kind of like on Bugs Bunny when the Roadrunner takes off really fast. *** Skye attempted to talk to Jax on his yacht, but he couldn't be pulled away from his game of electronic Battle Ships. "F-13," he said. Skye wondered why the heck she even bothered with his numb nut.
*** Courtney complained to Alexis about how
Sonny grabbed her arm twice and how he was trying to control her life.
"Sonny was beaten as a child!" Alexis blurted out. Courtney wiped away a
single tear. "Well, that explains everything," she said. "Now he can hurt
me as much as he wants to!" Alexis nodded happily and told Courtney she
just KNEW that would make all the difference. |
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*** Lucky gazed lovingly upon Nikolas as Nik tied up some loose ends with the Cassadine employees. Nik wondered if everything was okay between him and Lucky again, after the fight they'd recently had. "We're fine, buddy, I promise," Lucky said with a twinkle in his eye. Lucky then got seriously aroused as he watched Nikolas loosen his tie. Meanwhile, Gia stopped in to see Liz and was stunned to see her getting ready for a date with Lucky. "But," she said, "I thought that he and Nikolas were-- err, never mind!" Deciding to be supportive, Gia helped Liz get ready for her date. They played in each other's hair for a while and decided that they liked it. A LOT. *** AJ told Skye that he needed her. She was disappointed when she realized he meant he needed her for BUSINESS. "Why must we be siblings?" they both pondered as they watched each other longingly from across the steak and eggs.
*** Courtney told Sonny that Alexis has
explained to her about the abuse he'd suffered as a child and that because
of that news, she now loved him very much. Sonny was furious with Alexis
for having spilled the beans about his abusive past but was secretly
pleased to be able to drag out the "You betrayed me" speech that he hadn't
used in at least three days. While Sonny was busy giving Alexis the
betrayal speech, Skye lurked Courtney down to parking garage to see AJ,
who confessed his part in Carly's miscarriage. He then explained that the
baby was more of a hate child than a love child, so Courtney forgave him
for it. "I don't like Carly much anyway," Courtney admitted. "Neither do
I," AJ said. Just then, two of Sonny's goons pulled AJ out of the car and
threatened to beat him to a pulp. Johnny explained that he'd been beaten
as a child, too, and that that explained why he was doing these things.
Courtney didn't know whom to feel sorry for first. |
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*** Lucky was jealous of Nikolas's interest in Stavros and told Nikolas to let Stavros's letter burn in the fire. He then informed Nikolas that Stavros didn't love him -- or at least, that Stavros couldn't love Nik the way Lucky could! Unconditionally! Soulfully! And with a heck of a lotta lube! *** Carly offered to take Zander shopping for some new duds that would impress Courtney. "We'll go for the Justin Timberlake look," Carly said. Zander insisted that he didn't WANT to date Courtney. "Are you refusing to help Sonny?" Carly asked while fingering her switchblade menacingly. Zander swallowed hard and begged Mistress Carly not to tell Sonny about his disobedience. "I just can't bear to hear his betrayal speech again," he sobbed. *** AJ gloated over the way he'd snowed Courtney into believing that *he* was a good guy and Sonny was a bad guy when everyone *KNOWS* that Sonny is supposed to be the good guy and AJ is supposed to be the bad guy, what with that drink he took 18 months ago and all. Skye reminded him that he may have pushed Sonny too far this time because AJ was messing with Sonny's familia. AJ just smiled that winning smile and made his nipples all perky again.
*** Sonny broke a wine glass and a decanter
when Courtney started defending AJ and then bellowed at her for making him
break his rule about not harming innocent crystal. Courtney said that
Sonny CHOSE to attack the innocent crystal and that if he'd just shook
AJ's hand when AJ offered it, the crystal would still be around today,
bringing hours and hours of pleasure to those it served. She then told
Mike that she wanted to move in with him and stormed out of there. Mike
felt down his pants, realized he DID have some balls and told Sonny not to
harass Courtney ever again. That left Sonny with nobody but Alexis to talk
to. "Remember my betrayal speech?" he asked, "well, he he, can we just
fuggetabbutit?" The audience was too busy yawning to realize it was Friday
and this was where they were supposed to be all excited for Monday's show. |
THE WEEK THAT WAS ON GENERAL HOSPITAL!
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Mitch, the resident gym gigolo, worked out the details of the ménage a trois with Jax and Ned. |
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Melissa Bedford puts herself through a rigorous physical workout -- with hours of playing on Laurie Partridge's keyboard! |
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