Monday, February 4

*** Melissa Bedford (aka The Angel of Death) used the phrase "ease their pain" a mere seventeen times during today's episode. Roy continued to doubt Melissa and Laura asked Lucky to hack into Chicago Memorial's records to see what kind of dirt he could dig up on Melissa. Lucky found a lot of information on her and said he would print it out, but Roy became impatient waiting for it to be printed and berated Laura for buying an ink-jet when a laser printer would have been much faster, dammit! After reviewing the info on Melissa, Roy just couldn't understand why so many terminally ill patients were dying. "It's not like they're terminal or something," Roy said. Laura and Lucky couldn't make sense of it either.

*** Both Gia and Courtney were perfectly injured in their car accident, but Elizabeth, on the other hand, suffered some unsightly ketchup stains around her mouth and forehead.

*** AJ told Janine that he'd fallen in love with Courtney and wanted to make her his wife. "I want her to be a full-fledged Quartermaine," he said, "with all that it implies -- alcoholism, drug abuse, loads of cash and sex with Big Alice." Janine smiled: "Keep going, I'm listening, I'm listening .." AJ said that was pretty much all he had to say. "Oh," Janine said.

*** Melissa visited Edward in his hospital room and made him sign a paper that said she would not get any of his money. Edward told her she was nuts to turn down hundreds of millions of dollars. "Aww," Melissa said, "I kill for fun, not profit!" They both enjoyed a hearty laugh!
 

Tuesday, February 5

*** Skye admitted to Jax that she had faked the whole thing -- the moaning, the writhing, the gasping, the orgasms.

*** Lucky threw a fit in the ICU and pleaded with Elizabeth to feel his presence there. "How can she not feel your presence, you yelling shrieking idiot?" the emergency doctor snarled. Laura comforted Lucky and told him she was sure that Liz knew he had  been there. They were both shocked when Melissa scooted by them and went into Elizabeth's room. "Shit!" Lucky sneered, "you keep an eye on the plugs; I'll watch the respirator!" Laura nodded. "Check!" she said.

*** Kristina went to visit Edward and asked him to let her use her gifts on him. "What gifts would those be?" he asked. "Play some Keno, play some Keno," Kristina repeated. Edward told her that he had no idea what kind of voodoo she was trying to pull on him but that if she didn't leave his room immediately, he'd sic Lila and her electric chair after Kristina. "Abort! Abort!" Ned screamed from the hallway. Kristina ran out in a panic. "Thank God you're alive," Ned said. They hugged.
 

Wednesday, February 6

*** yawwwnnnnnnnnn***
 

Thursday, February 7

*** Zander tried to teach Carly how to drive and used the opportunity to make a lot of crude jokes about gripping the stick and going for lube jobs. Carly later confided in him about the time her friend got into a fatal car crash. Zander used the opportunity to make a lot of crude jokes about silky coffin linings and sticking things in holes. Carly thanked him for making her smile.

*** Alexis tried to teach Sonny how to be patient and wait. Sonny took the opportunity to cut out a little row of paper children with big gaping holes where their hearts should be and cute little slot machines attached to their arms. Alexis was touched. Kristina interrupted them and while Alexis was in the kitchen making popcorn, told Sonny she had been all wrong about Alexis's feelings for him. Sonny ordered Kristina up to her room. "But you don't even live here!" Kristina yelled. "Go .. to .. your .. room," Sonny repeated, revealing dimples. "Aw shucks, I can't refuse you," Kristina said, and wiggled her denim jean'd ass up the stairs.