August 5, 2002 ~  Sonny's warehouse was blown to bits just as Kristina went inside on an important mission to lead Alexis' life for her. Roy and Jason hurried inside the bombed-out building to rush to what they THOUGHT was Felicia's aid but then slowed down a bit when they saw it was only Kristina who was wounded.

 Liz and Zander then arrived, but Zander refused to allow Liz to enter the warehouse. "But I must kill this ugly pink sweater!" she sobbed. "You have a point," Zander said and pulled her into the rubble. "Help me move this Styrofoam!" Jason bellowed to Zander. They both flexed their muscles, hoping to impress Elizabeth, as they moved the heavy Styrofoam out of the way. At that moment, Alexis walked in and saw that Kristina was laying unconscious under the Styrofoam. "Oh God!" Alexis sobbed. "She's allergic to polystyrene!" That's when everyone realized they had a serious situation on their hands. "Is she alive?" Alexis asked. "She's lost a lot of ketchup," Roy intoned. The paramedics then wheeled Kristina to the emergency room. "Get me two bottles of Heinz and a hot dog bun -- STAT!" Tony Jones barked to the orderlies.

Meanwhile, Roy, Jason and Zander fought over a gun and Zander accidentally shot Liz in the arm. Just then, the cops arrived and ordered Jason and Zander to put their hands behind their heads. Both boys did as they were told, flexing their muscles in the process. "Liz will notice my biceps  before she notices yours," Zander hissed. "Fuck Liz; I want that hot cop to notice me!" Jason hissed back. The good-looking but sadly under-exposed cop tried to stop the bleeding from Liz's wound but she pleaded with him to please let Jason take care of her. Jason then walked over to Liz, touched her wound and turned the blood into wine.

Roy told Alcazar that he didn't want to play with him any more. Alcazar told him there would be no negotiating and for Roy to get his ass on the see-saw, but NOW!

Ned popped some popcorn and went to watch Kristina's operation. "Jujubes?" Alan whispered. "During intermission," Ned whispered back. (TOP)

August 6, 2002 ~ Kristina died, but here's what we REALLY learned today: (TOP)

August 7, 2002 ~ Rick and Scott met on the docks to discuss their nefarious plans to keep Laura from learning about Teresa Carter. "She's going to find that skull!" Scott fretted, but Rick told him to calm the fuck down. "I hired an actress to play Teresa and then sent Laura to meet Teresa Carter and Laura is as ignorant as ever," Rick said, adding how grateful he was that Karen Black's career was in the toilet and that she was available for a one-day gig. Rick did add, however, that he and Scott had better hurry up and get that excavation crew out of Felicia's back yard before Felicia noticed her lawn had been disturbed. "To the Batmobile!" Scott said. "We don't HAVE a Batmobile, you fuckhead," Rick sneered. "To the '78 Toyota Corolla!" Scott announced. "That's more like it," Rick said and off they sped to fire the excavation team.

Luke went over to the Scorpio attic and found the camera that Teresa allegedly used to knock Rick out. He brought it to Francesco "Lucky" Scavullo to see if it would be possible to develop the film after all these years. Lucky didn't think so: "The emulsifying emollients may have degraded and the shuttericity of the film may have been made cracked and brittle and furthermore--" "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, do you?" Luke sighed. "No, I don't," Lucky said, wiping a tear from his eye. Lucky did manage to develop a few of the pictures and he and Luke were horrified to see what was on them. "These are shots from a Bay City Rollers concert!" Lucky gasped. Luke immediately poured kerosene on his hands: "I TOUCHED them!" he screamed.

Jax went to Alexis' apartment to offer his condolences and tell Alexis that the best thing she could do to honor Kristina's memory would be to focus on the baby and take really great care of herself. "I don't think I can do this pregnancy alone," Alexis sobbed. "Of course you can!" Jax said. "No, I really don't think I can. I mean, Kristina was PEEING for me, for pete's sake!" Alexis wailed. Jax held her close. "I'm sure we can find someone new to pee and think for you," Jax said encouragingly and wondered what Amy was up to these days. (TOP)

August 9, 2002 ~ Vanessa Marcil's body double's upper back made an appearance, as did Felicia's extremely ugly dress.

Carly offered to move back into the penthouse so that she wouldn't have to go visit Michael at the cottage any more, or visit him at all, if such a thing was possible. Sonny insisted that she was safer at the cottage than in his penthouse. "But I don't even have a bodyguard over there!" Carly protested. "Okay," Sonny said, "so you might get shot. Life is full of risks. Why, just getting in a car is full of risks!" Carly thought it over and decided to move into the penthouse anyway. Mikey and Leticia followed. "I couldn't stop them," Carly sneered. "Fuck," Sonny sighed. Mikey asked Sonny what he should call him. "You can call me Daddy," Sonny said. "Can I just call you Arrogant Asshole instead?" Mikey asked. "Fair 'nuff," Sonny said.

Courtney and her stripper friends had a little birthday party together. "Any chance this will degenerate into a lesbian orgy?" Coleman asked. "I have to meet my husband," Courtney reminded him. "So, is that a no?" Coleman asked. Later, Courtney and all her stripper friends were arrested. "That sucks, this being your birthday and all," someone said to Courtney. "Any chance I can watch them being strip-searched?" Coleman asked Taggert. "I'll sneak you in," Taggert whispered.

Laura was visited by the ghosts of Laura past, who took her to see Tiny Tim's future. Laura immediately regretted her past and bought turkeys for all the children in Gloucestershire. (TOP)