Monday
October 8

Staring contest. GO!
 

*** Lucky managed to get himself out of the mouth gag and the ropes that bound his wrists while underwater. He bobbed to the surface and was disappointed to realize that the Guinness Book of World Records people weren't around to verify that he got out of there way quicker than that David Blaine guy did. He rushed to the yacht and was heartbroken to see Elizabeth propped up on a chair, lifeless. "She's dead," he sobbed, "and I missed it!" Lucky then vowed to get revenge on Helena for robbing him of that moment he'd most been looking forward to in life.

*** Helena and Stavros had a drink and discussed the future at Windermere. Stavros insisted that no maTTer whaT iT Took, he would maKe Laura hiSSS wife again. Helena informed Stavros that when he enunciated that way, it caused little flying spittles to hit her in the face. "Such iSS life, Mo-ther," Stavros snarled. Alexis lurked outside and overheard the entire conversation, stunned to realize that Laura wasn't nuts when she said Stavros was alive. She then had heartbreaking memories of all the times Stavros spittled in her glasses when she was a kid.

*** Skye showed up at the Q Mansion, telling everyone she was worried about AJ's safety because she hadn't heard from him for a few days, despite being in constant contact with him. She was disgusted when she saw that the Quartermaines hadn't even noticed AJ's absence. "Don't you even CARE that he's been missing for a few days?" Skye asked. "Sheesh," Edward said, "it's not like he's Maurice Benard or something!" Everyone but Skye chuckled and shook their heads. "Good one," Alan said.
 

Tuesday
October 9

In the midst of comforting her deathly ill brother, Bobbie is faced with the eternal challenge: how to get to the bathroom without waking him up?
 

*** Carly called Sonny after Michael woke up from a bad dream, insisting that only he could make Mikey feel better. Sonny stormed over there with a bomb strapped to his waist and told Carly and Mikey to go outside while he went up there and showed those Bogey Men who the boss was. "But I didn't DREAM about bogey men!" Mikey protested. "You want me to bomb you, too?" Sonny threatened. Carly looked at him admiringly.

*** In what Sonny calls a test of loyalty and what we call a test to see just how big an asshole you're capable of being, Zander went into the meat locker where AJ was being held captive and told him that if he didn't sign the custody papers, Sonny would have AJ die in a drunk driving accident. Johnny and another of Sonny's goons came in and dropped hints that supported Zander's claims that AJ would be killed if he didn't relinquish his parental rights to Mikey. AJ then sidled up to Johnny and told him that if he'd help AJ out of this mess, he'd make it so that Johnny would get some sex with Skye AND get ten more speaking lines a week. Johnny broke into laughter, "What, you think you have that kinda clout around here? Who do you think you are, Maurice Benard or something?" Laughter echoed throughout the soundstage.

*** A deathly ill Luke refused the antidote when he wouldn't allow Tony touch him. "I know how you feel," Bobbie said with a sigh, and then offered to administer the needle herself. Luke improved briefly but then slipped back into a loopy state of mind where time and space had no real meaning. He strolled down memory lane with Bobbie and in one of his loopier moments, told her to sing a song for the boys while he picked their imaginary pockets. Bobbie tap-danced and did a show-stopping rendition of "There's No Business Like Show Business" while Luke collected an imaginary $27.85.  Luke then dialed an imaginary phone and ordered an imaginary pizza with imaginary anchovies on it. Bobbie poured Luke an imaginary beer, gave him an imaginary Valium and stroked his cheek softly as he fell asleep on her lap. Meanwhile, the lawyers representing the makers of "Midnight Cowboy" threatened legal action if the scene dared resemble the movie any closer.
 

I dunno.

I can't remember.

I wasn't there.