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*** Zander told AJ to stop getting in Carly's face about Michael and Sonny, and told AJ that he was a pathetic little pisher who caused his own misery and it was his attitude that turned him into a father from whom Michael needed protecting. AJ spat his coffee out all over the diner table and told Zander to get his big fat Sonny head out of his big fat Sonny ass. Zander ran off crying like a big baby la-la. AJ rolled his eyes. "He could have easily beat my ass," he thought to himself before pondering buying lifts.
*** Luke and Laura had to admit that they
were having feelings as they celebrated what would have been their 20th
anniversary, had Genie Francis not wanted to have sex scenes with Stephen
Nichols. They both agreed that they were feeling all mushy inside because
of the ordeal they'd just gone through. "End Game?" Laura asked. A single
tear rolled down Luke's cheek. "Yes, darlin'. End Game." There was a
moment of respectful silence of the show's integrity before they went
their separate ways. |
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*** Helena was dumfounded when Stefan informed her that he had cut off all her money and that she would have to use a public defender during her trial. Helena crumbled into a terrified heap when she saw Johnnie Cochran enter the room, demanding to know "who planted de bloody glove 'n dis heah woman's back yawd?" Luke and Stefan took great pleasure in telling Cochran exactly what Helena had done and Cochran slowly "had to 'dmit dat dem chah-jes do 'deed seem to stick." He then encouraged Helena to take a plea bargain, since he couldn't think of a clever rhyme to go with the words "Robert Kelker-Kelly's soap career sacrificed on the altar of Maurice Benard." Luke and Stefan decided to forget their past problems and go out for some Pink Ladies. "With the umbrellas?" Stefan asked hopefully. "With a nice big fat juicy umbrella," Luke said softly. *** Sonny and Carly blah blah divorce papers blah blah yadda yadda i can't trust you blah blah you'll never forgive me yadda yadda jax something yadda divorce papers blah blah forget it no yadda yadda.
*** Taggert and Florence were stunned
when Nikolas asked for their permission to ask Gia's hand in marriage.
They looked at each other hesitantly until Nik offered them $100,000 each,
a new Jaguar and a goat, which was in keeping with Greek tradition. "Well,
I don't need the Jag but the goat sold me!" Taggert exclaimed. "Welcome to
the family, Daddy Warbucks!" Florence added. Nikolas then gave Gia an
engagement ring "with an emerald to match your beautiful green eyes." Gia
pointed out that she didn't have green eyes but Florence shushed her and
asked her why she always had to ruin perfectly romantic financial
transactions. Nik said that was just one of the kooky things about Gia
that he loved so much. |
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*** Sonny mumbled to Alexis something about having signed the divorce papers, and Alexis said she sured hoped her lil ole argument with Carly earlier wasn't the reason for his lil ole decision to sign the lil ole divorce papers. Sonny assured her that wasn't the case. Kristina later warned Alexis that Sonny still had feelings for Carly and also told her sister not to play coy any more cuz it was really degrading. "Sonny LIKES degrading!" Alexis said. "I'm hoping to annoy him so much and make him hate me so badly that his dick won't be able to HELP but stand at attention for me!" Kristina smiled her country churning smile and told Alexis she admired her plan. *** Roy and Melissa told Luke that he spend Thanksgiving with Laura and the rest of the gang. "You speak fluent Roy," Melissa said, "so you can translate for everyone in case I get called away to the hospital." "Yeah, man, mumble she yeah man," Roy said. Luke said he'd rather go trout-fishing outside Montreal. "marzi lives in Montreal," Melissa warned him. "Consider me happily joining your Thanksgiving party!" Luke said fearfully.
*** Skye was all panicky because she
found Carly at Jax's apartment and feared that Carly would try to woo Jax
and ruin Skye's own plans for some Jax Sex. AJ was equally worried, as
this ruined his plans for some Jax Sex as well. "I may never get
laid again," AJ sighed. "Not unless you sleep with Jill Farren Phelps
first," Skye said. "Wow, trying saying THAT three times fast!" AJ said.
They both chuckled and tried the tongue twister before collapsing in
giggles on the couch. "Ahhh, this is so much better than drinking," AJ
said. A deep and disturbing silence fell over the room. |
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*** Sonny found Carly at Jax's penthouse and told her that HE would give her the money for her club, if it would get her the heck away from Jax. "I had hate sex with you, we lost a child, I decided I loved you, you betrayed me, I hated you, I love you, I want to sign the divorce papers, I don't want to sign the divorce papers, I signed the divorce papers, I hate you, you betrayed you, I love you, I'm jealous, I hate you, I love you, now come home with me," Sonny said. Carly said she'd prefer to remain with Jax, who at least offers her the promise of new dialogue. "Come on, just say, 'I'm your wife and you're my husband' for old time's sake," Sonny pleaded. "No, I've moved on," Carly said with finality. Jax smirked. Sonny left.
*** Luke decided to check out Bobbie's
Thanksgiving shindig and hung around to play host after Laura tantalized
him with the promise that she'd play The Scrubwoman and The Dirty Old
Groundskeeper later. Laura delivered a stirring prayer before the meal and
she and Luke exchanged meaningful glances across the table until Serena
asked Laura if it was true that she was going to marry Scotty. Silence
fell over the table as Laura looked at Lulu, who had spilled the secret.
"When we get home, missy, I'm shaving off ALL your hair," Laura snarled.
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