Emily: That's so awesome! It's so cool to feel your baby move!
Carly: It'll cure your cancer to touch me, you know.
Emily: I feel better already!
 

Alan: Hydrocodone *sigh* How many lives has this drug destroyed? Why, I remember when I was addicted to it, I almost lost my wifeand family. When I was on Hydrocodone, Monica would nag at me for hours and I wouldn't remember any of it. I had sex with hookers and hung out with junkies and the next morning, I'd remember none of it.  I couldn't remember what I'd been doing ten minutes earlier. I couldn't remember that I was married or that I had children.
Dillon: I'll put it back on the tray here, then.
Alan (desperately): Get your hands off my Hydrocodone,  motherfucker!
 

Token Black Guy: See, now, I just went into the C drive and searched for hidden files, and in no time, I was able to locate every last one of Alcazar's financial statements. So now I just hit Control + C and copy, and now Control + V to paste and voila, we have copies of everything related to Alcazar's business.
Sonny: Sonny love-a da Negro ghetto talk.
 

Carly: I almost died, but the doctor, you know, she kept telling me to just stay calm and relax and let the drugs work and pretty soon I was feeling better and the contractions had stopped. Sonny, this baby means everything in the world to me. There is no way I'd ever let something happen to this child of ours. I will never allow ANYTHING to happen to this child, ever! I'm going to follow the doctor's orders and stay calm and safe and not walk around too much and keep still, to ensure that with God as my witness, this baby will be born healthy and strong and a fighter!
Sonny: Sonny no get over how strong-a and-a courageous hissa wife-a issa!
Carly: So can we have sex now?