Juan: I gotta stop her! I gotta stop her, guys! Emily's so high on Ecstasy that she's doing a table dance!

Lucky: No, Juan! NO!

Nikolas: She hasn't exposed her boobies yet, man! Now you just let Em finish till we've seen her hoo-hoos!

Girl in back: Move your head, N'Sync Boy! I can't see her hoo-hoos with your big fat head in the way.

Juan: Emily! EMILY! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Lucky: No shit, man! You saw my dad NAKED?

Nikolas nods.

Lucky: And it was HOW big??

Nikolas indicates.

Lucky: Shit, man, baldness and a small dick. Thanks for the legacy, DAD! >:(

Gia: Yo, Missa Cassadine, you don't know NOTHIN' 'bout what a great man yo' nephew be! He strong! He wise! He kind! He ever'ting a man should be! No thanks to you, I mi' aydd! Y'ain't got nuffin ta do wid de way Nik done turned out! Wha' ya mean, why am I talking so BLACK?! I *am* black, maynn! You just racist and hatin' me wid Nikolas cuz I be black! Liz, stop standin' dere like some deaf-mute bee-otch! SAY sumfin!

Liz: I don't know nuffin 'bout birthin' no babies!

Gia: Yeah! Wha' SHE said! >:(

Stefan: Alexis!

Alexis: Oh, Stefan!

Stefan: Can you feel the electricity between us?

Alexis: Honey, I think CHINA can feel the electricity between us. We could power a frickin' nuclear power plant with the electricity between us!

Stefan: I want to kiss you!

Alexis: I want to kiss you, too!

Director: Cut! You're brother and sister!

Viewers: Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nikolas: Well, *ONE* of us got her pregnant!

Laura (thinking): He's got THAT hair and people mock MY wardrobe?