Alan: Stop it, Zander! STOP IT!

Zander: Leave .. me ... alone! If I want to play ... with ... my dingaling all day .. long then that's my .. business!

Alan: You'll go blind, boy!

Zander: I don't .. care! I'm so close! Please just .. lemme ... finish!

Sonny: Leave him alone, Alan. If the boy wants to beat his bongo, you gotta let 'im be. It's da code, man.

Alan: Oh, stick your code up your ass, Corinthos! He's going to go BLIND if he doesn't stop! It's bad enough Emily's in rehab; do we have to send Zander there, too?

Zander: Soooo cloooosseeee ...

Sonny: I say, let de boy cum!

Zander: Thanks, m-m-m-man! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...

Alan: Well, that's just fucking grosse. And this guy touched my daughter, for crying out loud!
 

Elton: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Stavros: If I acted like a total flamer, would you give me Laura's private cell phone number?

"Oh God, Tony's right. There *is* nothing I can ever do to make myself cool! Least of all this crying like a big fat baby la-la! But I can't stop it. I just can't stoppppp itttt ...."

Nurse: I'm just reading your chart here ... and you're very, very sick. I think you might need a sponge bath. A long, sudsy, soaking sponge bath.

Zander: Mmm-hm.

Nurse: And I think I might have to inspect your buttocks afterwards, of course.

Zander: Huh? Why? The bullet went in my CHEST, not my ass!

Nurse: Ahhh, sweet naive little Zander. Haven't you ever heard of an exit wound?

Zander: Yeah, I know what an exit wound is.

Nurse: Oh. Um. Well, then, do you know what an articular voracitary puncture is?

Zander: No.

Nurse: Okay, well then, that's what you have. And that's why I have to inspect your buttocks.

Zander: Wellpp, you're the nurse! You've got the chart!

Nurse: That's right, Zander. I am the nurse. I have the chart. Now, raspberry or vanilla bubble bath?
 

Laura: ... So then? When I want to make Scotty think he said something really funny, I sort of scrunch my nose a little bit like this and then I giggle like this: hehehehehehehehe.

Luke: Uh-huh, right! Great stuff!

Laura: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Just like that!

Luke: Just great, great stuff, Angel!

Laura (seriously): Scotty's a dink. I don't like him one damned bit.

Luke: I know, Angel. It's just another reason why you're you, Laura. All the suffering and hardship you go through!

Laura (contemptuously): Wanting kisses and stuff ...

Luke: Shhhh, Angel. Let it go, sweety-kins, just let it go.

Laura: Oh Luke, only you know my secret pain!

Luke: Shhh, shhh, shhh, let it all go, Angel, let it ALLLL go!