I am Stefan Cassadine, and here's my ID card. Just how much more identification do you need?
 

Michael: Mommy, why are you on your knees?
Carly: Err, umm, Uncle Sonny and I were just playing a little game together, honey!
Michael: Well, why did Uncle Sonny turn away so fast when I came in and why was his zipper down?
Carly: Aww, honey, it's just ... err, part of the game we were playing together.
Michael: Why is your lipstick all smeared?
Carly: Sheesh, you ask a lot of questions! Look, Uncle Sonny and I thought it would take you a lot longer to get those ice cream cones, sweetie. That's all. He he.
Michael: Why did Uncle Sonny call me a little blow job-ruining bastard when I came in?
Sonny: Listen, you little shit, you're about THISCLOSE to not getting adopted by me, allright? Now eat your damned ice cream cone and go sit in the cockpit.
Michael: But I don't wan--
Sonny: GO!
Michael (muttering): Stupid fuck.
 

Scotty: Oh for pete's sake, you're doing it all wrong, Roy!
Roy: Trust me, man, I know how to do this!
Scotty: Listen, if you open that pot of pea soup with a crowbar, you're going to get pea soup all over you! Trust me on this one! Use one of these nice cloths here. Then you can grip both sides of the lid, ease it off and you won't splatter any of the soup on you!
Roy: Listen, who's the bitch in this relationship?
Scotty (reluctantly): Alright. I am.
Roy: Well? Then stop telling me how to do everything, woman, and just keep sweeping that floor!
Scotty: Well, all I know is that I don't slave all day making homemade pea soup just so you can splatter most of it all over my nice, clean kitchen!
Roy: Zip it, bitch!
Scotty: Alright, alright! But don't say I didn't warn you, is all.
 

Kristina: ALEXIS! Oh my gosh, well, we ... we weren't expecting you back so soon!
Ned: Yeah! And uhh, believe me, we were sitting here worrying about you. We were NOT talking about or thinking about having sex with one another at all!
Kristina: Not at ALL! Heh, heh ... I mean, really: que esta sexo, right? Heh heh ..
Ned: Yeah, ha ha! Non hablo sexo here in mi casa, ha ha.
Kristina: Yeah, heh heh.
(uncomfortable pause)
Kristina: Yeah. So. WELCOME HOME!
Ned: Indeed! Welcome home!