Fuck, man, this is *NOT* what we meant by a "location shoot" >:-(

Kristina (going up): Sonny sent me to my room. Alexis (coming down): HA HA! He paged me to tell me *I* could come out! :)

Kristina: Hey, Jax! Long time no see! Your aura's looking dyno-MITE!
Jax (quickly): I was just on my way out!
Alexis (quickly): No need to rush off, Jax! Stay a while! C'mon, Kristina just  got here. Don't *you* want to talk with her? You must have plenty to ask her!
Jax (quickly): No, seriously, I have to leave. I have to, err, be somewhere. Yeah, BE somewhere. Well, bye!
Alexis (grabbing Jax's coat): Please stay, Jax! I'll make some coffee!
Kristina (chuckling): Ha ha ha, gosh, you guys! Always pretending like you don't want to hang out with me! Ha ha ha.
Alexis (whispering urgently): Please, for the love of God, Jax, don't leave me alone with her!
Jax (pulling his coat away): You're on your own, lady. I'll save any damsel in distress but NOT if it means being around the Feng Shui Aura Queen.
Alexis: It's Feng Shui ORAL Queen!
Jax (running down hallway): Nice try, Alexis!
Alexis: Dammit!
Kristina: Ha ha ha, always kidding, you two! It gets more and more realistic every time you pull that trick! Ha ha ha!
Alexis (sighing): I'm going upstairs.
Kristina (cheerfully): I'll follow you! We'll talk! We'll discuss feelings and emotions! We'll do each other's hair and nails! We'll move furniture! It'll be fun!
Alexis (to self, as Kristina wheels her towards the stairs): Take me now, Lord. Take me now.
 

Carly: Alright, what the HECK are you doing in that position, Zander?
Zander: I thought you were Sonny. You mean I got lubed up for nothing?
 

Skye: You really hate my guts, don't you?
Sonny: Yes, I do.
Skye: And you're just dying to fuck me, aren't you?
Sonny: Yes. I haven't hated anyone and been this horny since I found out Hannah betrayed me. Or when Carly, whom I loathed, came on to me in my penthouse on the night we conceived our hate child.
Skye: You bastard!
Sonny: Bitch!
Skye: Take me!
Sonny: Only if you'll take me first!