Carly: ... and, and .. I almost DROWNEDED in that water, Sonny. I was so scared. One minute, my car is flying through the air; the next minute *sob* I can feel this freezing cold water pouring into the car.
Sonny: Aww, you need a hug?
Carly (sniffling): I think a fuck might be better, Sonny.
Sonny: C'mere, let Sonny give you a quickie.
Carly (melting into his arms): You *sniff* always know how to make me feel better.
 

Carly: ... and, and .. I almost DROWNEDED in that water, Sonny. I was so scared. One minute, my car is flying through the air; the next minute *sob* I can feel this freezing cold water pouring into the car.
Sonny: I could hear you tell that story a million times, Carly, and it would never become less frightening to me.
Carly: So I dunno if it was pure adrenalin or what, but I just started kicking and I managed to get out and the next thing I knew, I was in a cabin somewhere.
Sonny: Fascinating! Tell it again, Carly!
Carly: Alright. See, I drove around the curve and the next thing I knew, my car was flying through the air and--
Sonny: What was that sound? That, like, clicking noise?
Carly: I think that was the collective sound of millions of people changing channels. Where was I?
Sonny: Car flying through the air.
Carly: Oh yeah, so my car was flying through the air and the next thing I knew, there was water pouring into the car.
Sonny: Fascinating! Make sure to repeat the story EXACTLY the same way each time you tell it, okay?
Carly: Sure thing. So anyway, yeah, there was water POURING into the car and--
 

Carly: ... and, and .. I almost DROWNEDED in that water, Zander. I was so scared. One minute, my car is flying through the air; the next minute *sob* I can feel this freezing cold water pouring into the car.
Zander: I feel so guilty, Carly! If only I had slept with you that night! None of this would have happened!
Carly: Aw, don't blame yourself, Zander. Well, yeah, okay: blame yourself.
Zander: I do! I really do! But listen, all of that is behind us now and I was wondering, do you think there's any chance that you and I could go out, have some dinner, talk about the future?
Carly (laughing uproariously): A future for US? Are you nuts, man? I already fucked Sonny last night! We're back together!
Zander: Oh.
Carly: Oh MAN, you and me? Together! Ha ha ha!
Zander (sobbing): I'm .. I'm sorry. I .. I should have known better.
Carly: Shit, I sound like such a bitch here. Listen, sit down. Let me tell you about the time I almost DROWNEDED. Will that make you sympathize a little more?
Zander: Will you make me some Postum and tuck a blankie around me?
Carly: Geez, give an inch and you take a mile! Alright already, I'll make you some freaking Postum! But no blanket! Okay, you ready?
Zander: Ready!
Carly: Well, see, I was mad at Sonny AND YOU and I went driving. One minute, my car is flying through the air; the next minute *sob* I can feel this freezing cold water pouring into my car!
Zander: Aw, shucks, how can I stay mad at you?
 

Carly: ... and, and .. I almost DROWNEDED in that water, Jason. I was so scared. One minute, my car is flying through the air; the next minute *sob* I can feel this freezing cold water pouring into the car.
Jason: Borg don't unnerstand.
Carly: Well, I was driving, see? Cuz I was mad at Sonny for sleeping with Alexis and mad at Zander for not sleeping with ME, and I think I was even mad at Roy for having turned down my advances a while back and I was mad at you, too, for not being here and, err, I was kinda mad at Jax, too, for sleeping with Skye instead of sniffing around me without a hope in hell of screwing me and .. uh ... *turning her back, dripping glycerin drops on her cheeks* It was so scary, Jason! One minute my car is flying through the--
Jason: Borg no like story. Borg wan' hear "Jabberwocky".
Carly: Alright, alright. Listen. Jabberwocky was mad at her ex-husband for having sex and drove her car over a cliff.
Jason: Borg scared for Jabberwocky!
Carly: Yes! Scared! And the most important part of t his story is that it was NOT Jabberwocky's fault, okay? Jabberwocky was JUSTIFIED in everything Jabberwocky did.
Jason: Borg love Jabberwocky.
Carly: Yeah. Whatever. So what's the most important part of this story, Jason?
Jason: Jabberwocky justified?
Carly: RIGHT! Right, Jason! You've got it! And just remember how SCARED Jabberwocky would be with water pouring into his car! And remember how JUSTIFIED Jabberwocky would be for being pissed off and driving a car off a cliff.
Jason: Borg unnerstand.
Carly: Good, now RUN JASON RUN! Run to tell Sonny the story! Run!
Jason: BORG RUN NOW! (runs off)
Carly: Sucker!