The good news is, they're a fictional family and therefore there is no danger of them ever moving into a home anywhere near yours! The bad news is, the Quartermaines aren't as outrageous as we may think they are! Let's see, there's a self-righteous matriarch named Lila, a money-hungry patriarch named Edward. There's a former drug addicted sub-patriarch named Alan and a ball-breaking sub-matriarch named Monica. Then there's the alcoholic son, AJ, who can't seem to ever win his parents' love and approval, and the brain-defective son, Jason, who works for a mob boss and tells everyone and their dog that he has no right to judge them. Oh, there's also a nephew named Ned who chose to lose his wife and child rather than leave this dysfunctional bunch of losers. And let's not forget former drug addict and drug pusher-lovin' Emily. Well, I dunno about you but that pretty much sounds like MY family, you know?