Carly's Death:
A Bad Attempt At A Metaphor?

by Liz

OK, first off, anyone that knows me knows that I am first and foremost a Nancy Lee Grahn fan, and Sexis follows close behind. I'm not a Carly fan,
never really have been. However, I have no problem with Tamara Braun, and
think for stepping into a role so defined and synonymous with Sarah Brown,
she's done a fine job.

Now that we have that covered, we can move on to my overly verbose ramblings inspired by marzi'pans's recent editorial on the pathetic attempt at what was to be General Hospital Sweeps. Get out the brooms, ladies, 'cause those sweeps need to be swept right under the nearest carpet or off into some dark recess of a corner. I swear, I was more surprised at what I found after
vacuuming under the couch for the first time in months than I was at Carly's
grand resurrection.

I have decided that Carly's death was a poor, pathetic attempt at a metaphor
(a wonderful literary device when used properly-maybe the writers skipped
Intro to Soap Writing 101). Meaning, her "meeting her demise" (in a Lexis-ok, that was creative) was really supposed to be the metaphorical death of what I call RehabCarly.

I mean, think about it. Exactly how many villainesses ARE there on General
Hospital these days?

<grabs calculator>

 Gimme a sec to do the final tally.

<cocks head to the side, deep in thought>...<looks a bit
perplexed>...<recalculates>..

Um, ya, ONE --- Helena, who spends more time receiving lip service for her dirty deeds than she does on screen, a shame considering Constance Towers exudes charisma and really spices up the show.
 

No, instead this is to be the summer of NuMaxie, an idea that must have come
out of an insanely drunk game of "How can we further dumb down the blah
storylines we have right now?" amongst the writers while they were struggling with the fact that GH got a single Emmy nod. I mean, really, take some Advil, sleep off the hangover and GET A CLUE! While NuMaxie reapplies her lip gloss (strawberry flavour so they're extra kissable), we have seasoned vets sitting around the canvas completely unused, or stuck in storylines that have people knocking their heads against the wall asking what they did to deserve this? I mean, perhaps Roy showed up to light the candles in Sonny's bedroom, seems like they have him roaming around PC these days with nothing else to do.  (Hopefully, he washed the sheets while he was at it.)

So (attempting to get back on track here), what of Rehab Carly? The former
Ferncliff resident recently decided to walk the straight and narrow and stand on her own two feet, leaving CatfightCarly fans (a la Sarah Brown style) digging up and dusting off their Ouija boards, trying to conjure up the spirit of OldCarly.

A soap opera without a villainess is like sex and drugs without rock-'n-roll. It just ain't the same. We all need to have someone that we love to hate. I don't know about you, but Stravrosicle (now in cherry, lime, and grape flavours!) didn't do it for me. I want someone like Janet Green. Hell, bring back Tracy!

And here, my friends, is where GH went terribly, terribly wrong in their attempt to deal with the head writer transition. Guza's back. He created Carly. And I would bet the house that he wants OldCarly, character-wise, back.

<insert picture of Guza staring aimlessly at his Carly screensaver>

So, in a last ditch effort, they (old writers? new writers?) decided to get her all wrapped up in some big plot that would affect every one in PC (although why there wasn't a parade marching down main street to celebrate this character's demise is beyond me), and would give Guza the opportunity to give the girl some edge again. Hey, I'm all for Carly going back to her old ways, but could we do it in a way that doesn't make us laugh and say, "Ha! That was a good one! Now, seriously, where's this headed?"

On the positive side, I guess this is a chance for Tamara Braun to strut her
stuff, show us & GH what she's got (and, hopefully, with some good
material). On the negative side, the audience is left to sit and watch the effects of a train wreck of a plot. Gedstern's rumour banner has done more to get people involved in the who-dunnit mess than the writers have by weaving anything that remotely resembles an intelligent story.

I know a lot of fans are insulted at how we're being played for amnesia-suffering individuals ourselves, forgetting the rich history the show has, and we have every right to feel this way. I mean, Audrey pops on screen for the 10,000th episode and receives all this praise about how important she is and now she's lost
somewhere in the halls of GH, never to be seen? Did someone lock her in the
supply closet?

Acting talent, rather than decent writing - save a few decent interactions over the past few months - has saved most of what is on screen that has worked. And thank goodness for that. People are in an uproar-we love Sexis, we hate Sexis, we want S&C, we hate S&C, we want a Sexis baby and on and on
and on. But, it occurs to me that at least people seem to CARE about this
storyline, one way or the other. TPTB are probably breaking out the champagne at the thought that fans give a damn.

My only hope is that when pure Guza stuff starts to air in a week that we begin to see dialogue, character interaction and references to GH history that do right by the actors, the story and the audience. Until then, I would like to thank whoever invented the VCR. I seriously hope that I will be doing more rewinding and re-watching of scenes rather than fast forwarding through them in the near future.

(Steps off soapbox. :))