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Okay, I admit it, I'm a web slut and certifiable spoiler junkie. My
headset connected to a TV/radio plus VCR backup at home combined the fact
that it's been boring as hell at work at a company that doesn't monitor
internet access, leaving me scads of time to surf at will has made my
habit of lurking and posting at sites even worse.
I have been GH viewer for about 23 years and web slut for about 8 years
now, and I've seen it all from rant to rave, hourly "<Insert
character/couple> gushfest/consolidated appreciation posts" to "<Insert>
has got to go or I'm never watching again!!!" I confess I love hearing
the newest tidbit of salacious info and reading the musings of others
about what's going to happen next - from the probable to the absolutely
absurd to the "they do this and I'm outta here!". And it's all done in
fun - theoretically.
But in all the years I've been lurking and posting, I've never seen the
boards like this. If this were a scene in GH, it would look something
like
this:
<Elevator doors open to ER>
Monica: What the hell happened here?
Bobbie: I've never seen anything like this -- we're stacked wall to wall!
Amy: Monica, they need you in Trauma 2 and Bobbie, Tony needs you in
Trauma 4.
Bobbie: Did a bomb explode? Anthrax? What happened?
Tony: <sweating and out of breath> Worse! It's the posters from SZ, Sage
and other fanboards! It's unbelievable - the board wars have escalated
into all out assault! We've got heart attacks, strokes, nervous
breakdowns, stab wounds and other injuries from throwing large heavy
objects and some rotten fruit.
Bobbie: I thought I smelled citrus.
GH has been in decline for several years now, since about the time Gloria
Monty left. Oh, sure, there have been bright spots and successes since
then. But looking at it from here, I can't escape the feeling that a lot
of those have been due not to writing excellence done with forethought and
planning but more to do with dumb luck - hell, if you shoot enough arrows
at the target, one is bound to hit a bull's-eye eventually.
The boredom was bad enough and the ratings low enough that ABC in its
infinite wisdom (or insanity) installed Jill Farren Phelps and Megan
McTavish to take over the struggling daytime drama. It was greeted with
all the enthusiasm of a shipment of Donald Duck floaties to the passengers
of the Titanic. This dynamic duo was soundly vilified net wide, with
positive posts numbering in the single digits. ABC's reaction: keep JFP,
kick out MMcT and bring back Guza and Co. Warm fuzzies began circulating
on the net at the thought of getting rid of at least half of the
"problem". Personally, I knew in my gut that this was not the oasis in
the desert but a mirage.
Sure enough, Guza has been just another pile of sand -- worse, the same
pile of sand. The problem is that he apparently does not know what in the
hell he is doing. If he does, I'd like somebody to please explain it to
me in easy to understand monosyllabic words since I must just be stupid
(I'm not seeing it, and never have).
Rumours, musings, red herrings and all out lies disguised as scoops
straight from the set are burning through the net like the Colorado
wildfires,
destroying everything in its path. There are theories, counter theories,
and more and more musings leading to arguments degenerating into
finger pointing ("They took my comments out of context!") and downright
insults ("That Sage! What a fuck up").
We all know that this is a soap and arguing over various plot points is
like arguing about which one of Santa's Reindeer crapped on your lawn.
But it's fun. At least it's supposed to be. Reality Check: Interest is
one thing, mean-spiritedness is something else. And the fucking insane
part of all this nastiness that *nobody* (including TIIC) knows what the
hell is going to happen next.
Besides being sick of all the sniping, I'm also really sick of hearing the
whining about the *obvious* intent to break up Skye & Jax, or the
pontificating about how it's a *given* that Brenda will get back with Jax
or we all *know* Sonny will go back to Brenda or Liz *has* to end up with
Jason or Liz & Zander were *made* for each other.
Look, people, I will say this again: we do *not* know what's going to
happen. Shit, Guza doesn't even know what's going to happen. The man
waffles more than IHOP. Furthermore, just because something happened in
the past or is happening now does not mean anything in the scheme of
things - he's already turned so much history written in stone into enough
gravel to re-do my driveway at least a dozen times.
Just because things look good for "your" people does not mean it will end
up good, just like things looking dismal don't mean that it's all over for
"your" people either. Reminds me of a great line from the movie "Mask":
"If I had started to dig a grave every time a physician told me (Rocky was
going to die), I'd be eating chop suey in China by now!"
The only thing that is certain is that Guza will continue milking the
tennis match we're playing -- Brenda with Jax.Sonny.Jax.Sonny.Jason.last
laugh.who the hell cares, etc. And he'll milk it for every last ratings
point he can get out of it - even if it is by the most despicable means
possible: being an asshole by screwing with the fans.
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