Spoiler-free Spoilers for October 8, 2001

Ned makes a shocking discovery
That long sideburns went out in the 70s

Skye learns more about AJ
He was once 5 inches taller!

Laura faces a difficult decision
"Should I tell Lulu that she isn't related to the rest of us?"

Scotty and Luke argue
Over who will be the first to bring Lava Lamps back into style

Nicholas further isolates himself from the family
By serenading them with his sax

Helena and Sonny argue:
Over who gets to keep Johnny for their man-slave

Angel's actions stun Port Charles
By getting her lines through on the first try.

Ned: 'Would you mind telling me what's going on here?"

Alexis: "I can't get into this right now"

Mac: "Mind telling me where you were the night of Sorel's murder?"

Laura: "Please be careful.!"

Luke: Zzzzzzzz, snoorrrrrrrrrre, zzzzzzzzzzz, GROAN, (burp)

Melissa: "I figured I would follow you guys."

Lucky: "I need to find my dad!"

Roy: "Let's get out of here!"

Liz: "Whatever Gia"

Gia: "Look, I, I, I..just want to help you"

Nick: "We can't have anything happen to you Elizabeth"

Lucien: "You are a beautiful woman Gia" (2nd week in a row)

Sonny: "This conversation is finished" (for the third week in a row!)

Carly: "Under my dead body will I sign those papers"

AJ: "Hello? Um, um, hello? I'm stuck on this meathook. Anyone?"

Helena: "Oh Nicholas. You have no idea how proud you've made me"

Zander: (silence)... ::birds chirp::...crickets..owl hoot

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Alexis Davis:
She's BUSY, allright?

Laura Spencer:
She WORRIES, allright?

Sonny Corinthos:
He's DONE, allright?

Helena Cassadine:
She's PROUD, allright?

Laura: "That day at the mayor's mansion, I'll never forget it."
*translation: The sun, the flowers, the wind. Your perm."

Bobbie: You have to be careful, one small slip and Liz could go into cardiac arrest
*translation: ..so I recommend Tony administer it, with his bum hand.

Alexis: "Here I go again, going on and on about myself.."
*translation: "so why don't we let YOU go and on about myself"

Laura: "So much has changed since the day on the mayors lawn.."
*translation: "Like our hair. I haven't cut mine and you don't have any"

Roy: "Luke, I "hustled" here as fast as I could"
*translation: But I got stuck on the Moonwalk bus line, took the Electric
Slide transit and ended up in Macarenaville"

Melissa: "I followed you guys, thought you'd need my help"
*translation: "I have no life"

Lucky: "One time my dad brought me here, but his leg got caught in a bear trap"
*translation: "Man. Those were the good old days"

Laura: "Phew. It's just you Scotty. Someone's been creeping around the house
again. You always seem to turn up when this happens."
*translation: Apparently, someone hasn't seen the movie "Scream"

Luke: "What happened to us Angel?"
*translation: two words: Bob Guza

Liz: "We have to do whatever it takes to save Lucky"
*translation: ..including murder, breakups, alienation of family members,
raising the minimum wage, tax cuts, repealing the 21st amendment..

Jax: "I've been raiding the Cassadine assets Helena"
*translation: You see, being a cornhole is only a part time hobby

Gia: "Your just such a good person Liz, I want you to make me a better person"
*translation: "I'm done picking the cotton, Ms. Scarlett"

Roy/Melissa: "Gosh, I wonder whose tomb we are in"
*translation: Well brainiacs, I think we can safely rule out "Grants"

Stephan: "I need you to break me out of jail Laura"
*translation: "After that I need you to save our crippling economy.."

Helena: "Well I look forward to having dinner with you Liz"
translation: "Did I say having dinner with you? I meant "having you
for dinner"

Scott: "Only the goose that God gave the Sam Hill to."
*translation: ....I have no clue. Sorry.