10 "Let me put it this way, Mac: the sheets were sticky and wet before I
ever even got INTO the bed. You see what I'm getting at?"

9 "Luke was doing push-ups and I slipped on a banana peel and landed right
under him!"

8 "I didn't cum."

7 "I was thinking about you the whole time, Mac! I swear, I was thinking
about you the WHOLE TIME that Luke and I were not having intercourse!"

6 "Oh Mac, please! You know better than ANYONE that I'm not a very good lay
anyway!"

5 "The floor was slippery! Luke had just taken his pants off because he
thought they made him look fat! I had just undressed because I thought my
shirt made me look fat. We both took a step and -whoops! - his penis
accidentally slipped inside me."

4 "With the lights dimmed, enough bad fast food and his eyes tightly shut,
Luke ASSURES me I look just enough like Laura to make him hot and bothered.
With the lights dimmed, enough bad fast food and my eyes tightly shut, I can
ASSURE YOU that Luke looks just enough like Luke to make me hot and
bothered."

"Dim the lights, boys! I can still make out who I'm making out with!"

3 "Yes, I lusted after Luke, but only because Steve Hardy isn't around any
more!"

2 "Mac, listen! I moaned, I panted, I squealed and I groaned, just the way I
do when I'm having sex with YOU! But I did NOT crinkle my nose with Luke nor
did I scrunch my face up. If THAT doesn't tell you how much I love you, Mac,
nothing does!"

And the NUMBER ONE Reason Flea Did NOT have Sex With Luke Spencer is ...

"How could you think that I would have SEX with Luke when I was so
emotionally distraught over the fact that you and the girls all hated my
guts?? When have I EVER put myself and/or Luke Spencer before you and the
girls? When? HUH? WHEN??"