Felicia: I don't understand it, Mac. I've been calling every single person in the Port Charles phone book and nobody's answering! I think they've all been kidnapped by Helena Cassadine!
Mac: Uh-huh. It couldn't be that they're just trying to avoid talking to you, huh?
Felicia: Why would they wanna do that?
(long silent pause)
Mac: Okay, well, do you know where this underground lab is?
Felicia: I have a pretty good idea, yeah!
Mac: Uh-huh. So you've had a pretty good idea of where the underground lab is but you only bothered to impart that information AFTER everyone disappeared.
Felicia: Yeah. And?
Mac: And nothing. To the batmobile! Real Andrews needs his three minutes of air time for November!

Melissa: Everyone's missing, Tony! Even Jax is missing, and he's not even a part of this storyline at all!
Tony: Don't worry, Melissa. I'm on the phone to Jill Farren Phelps right now!
Melissa: Well, remind her that she hired me away from another show without that show's permission so I could be her pet on this show and if I don't get more airtime than this, I'm walking!
Tony: Hi, Jill! Uh-huh. Yeah. But we-- Uh-huh. Yeah. Yes, I understand that, Jill, but I re-signed my contract in blood and-- uh-huh. Yeah. Okay.
Melissa: What did she say?
Tony: Something about her being a goddess and we haven't been kissing her shoes enough and anybody can have a Tava Smiley happen to them.
Melissa: Boy, am I glad *I* didn't talk to her! I'd hate to have her mad at me!
Tony: Tell Lucas I love him.
Melissa: I will, Tony. I will. God speed.
 

Kristina: I'm so worried about Alexis.
Ned: Did I ever tell you the story about how she left me at the altar and ran off with a truck driver because the thought of marrying me was THAT repulsive to her?
Kristina: Yeah, you did.
Ned: Did I ever tell you the story about how she salivates over Sonny Corinthos yet doesn't want me wearing leather pants?
Kristina: Yes, Ned. You told me.
Ned: Did I ever tell you the--
Kristina: I get the point, Ned, but she's still my sister, and you have memories of her but I have none and it breaks my heart to think that I may never get the chance to have my own memories of Alexis fucking me over, dumping me, mistrusting me!
Ned: We could have sex and screw her over first?!
Kristina: I thought you'd never ask!