Luke: Your taste in clothing leaves much to be desired, Stavros.
Stavros: Bitch at yourself, Spencer. I got this out of YOUR secret closet!
Luke: Too-shay, Cassadine! Now let's get to what we're really here for! You! Me! Final battle! The ultimate soap presentation of good versus evil!
Stavros: Alright. Which part will you play?
Luke: I'll be good; you be evil!
Stavros: Hey, I wept a couple of times this week! I'm the softer, gentler, more cuddly Stavros! YOU be evil!
Luke: I've been on this show for 20 years, bud. There ain't no way anyone's going to write me as evil.
Stavros: Well, if that's the way it's gotta be, then---

Hee-YA! I shall destroy you with my sword, Spencer! Remember, the last time we confronted one another, you tried to kill me with a bed post? This time I came prepared! There's no way you're going to destroy me this time, Spencer!

Stavros: What's the matter, Spencer? Cat got your tongue?
Luke: I'm just admiring your sword ...
Stavros: Yes, my sword. So hard and firm and smooth.
Luke: Uh-huh, yes, very hard ... smooth ... *gulp*
Stavros: Yes, Laura used to LOVE my sword. She polished it on a regular basis back on the Island!
Luke: Okay, I was going to give up my heterosexuality for you, you bastard, but now? Now I'm mad and I'm going to fight you with all my might!

*WHAM*

*BAFF*

*SHEEEYYAAAHHHH*

*OOMPH*

*ARGHHHHHHH*

*WHAAAAAAFFFFF*

Luke: Enough! I'm taking out the big guns now. Lingerie!
Stavros: Ha! Your lingerie is no match for my sword, Spencer!
Luke: HA! Even this sequined pink number?
Stavros: Noooo! Not the sequins!
 

*WHAM*

*BAFF*

Stavros: A-ha! I've got you right where I want you, Spencer! On your back, helpless, with my sword just inches from your mouth.
Luke: And I've got you right where I want *you*, Cassadine! With my hands firmly gripping your sword, my fingernails digging harshly into its hardness, making you squirm and writhe in agony ...
Stavros: Cursed sexual metaphors! I must now let you go and grab my crotch to make sure my equipment is safe!
Luke: I knew sexual tension would cause you release!
Stavros: No, not release, Spencer. Shriveling, shrinkage, but NOT relief!

Luke: A-ha! I've got you on the run now, don't I, Stavros?
Stavros: Not quite! I know this maze inside and out! I can get out of here in no time!
Luke: A-ha! Well, I shall descend upon you menacingly using this cool dance move I learned from West Side Story!
Stavros: Your fancy footwork may impress me, Spencer, but I have other plans. I'm going to run and run until I'm finally away from you. I'm going to run until--- Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stavros: Curse you, Spencer! You left the trap door open!
Luke: Ha! Guess you under-estimated me once again, Stavros! Last time it was a bed post, this time you've been foiled by your own bad infrastructure!
Stavros: I'm clinging, Spencer. Help me! Help me up!

 

Luke: No, Stavros! Never! You've been a curse on my family long enough, and if I help you out, you just might ruin the big 20th Anniversary Retrospective that is planned for Laura and myself in a feeble attempt to woo viewers back to this show!

Stavros: Then you leave me no choice, Spencer, but to laugh a maniacal laugh and refuse to let you be the cause of my death this time. I will push myself back into this alleged bottomless pit, thereby causing you to think you have witnessed my death while still leaving the door open for my return. Farewell, Luke! Farewell, General Hospital! Fairwell all!
Luke: Just jump already or I'm stamping on your fingers!
Stavros (falling back): I regret nothinggggggggggggggggggg ....

(Luke listens)
Luke: No thump. Good. Then he must really be dead! Unable to ever return from the grave, for surely such things can never happen! And unlike last time, when I absolutely saw Stavros with a broken neck, laying dead, this time I have also absolutely witnessed his demise, and therefore this time he can never return. And now, it's time for me to make my heroic escape just moments before the steel doors close down on this tomb forever!