Stefan: Alexis, what are you doing here?
Alexis: I wish I knew. I'm assuming Helena is going to get her revenge against me because I broke that priceless statue of hers at the Auction a few weeks ago.
Stefan: Butterfingers!
Alexis: Shut up, Steff-ON!
Stefan: Listen, Nancy, if it was up to me and STAR magazine, I'd be doing this scene with Jamie Ray Newman, so just be grateful that you're even *in* this storyline! You have no idea of the power that I wield here at ABC!
Alexis: Believe me, Stephan, if it was up to me, Jamie Ray Newman would be in this piece of shit instead of me, too!

Helena: Silence, you quibbling shits!
Bobbie: Listen, lady, you still haven't told me what the heck *I'm* doing in this storyline! Why did you kidnap me? Why did you have your goons bring me down here into the bowels of the earth?
Helena: Simple, my dear Bobbie. Two young actors were hired to portray you and Luke as children, and they must be used. They are the niece and nephew of none other than Jill Farren Phelps herself! If you're not in this storyline, the inclusion of said child actors would make no sense. You're simply a means to an end, my dear. Nothing more, nothing less.
Bobbie: You bitch!
Helena: Oh shut up, Barbara! Your hair looks nice and you're wearing leather pants. You have nothing to snivel about!

Helena: Now, you're probably wondering why I brought you all here today. Well, let me just summarize for you. Our country was attacked by terrorists in an unprecedented attack on our freedom. As a result, this show had to show --shall we say -- empathy towards those who lost their lives. As a result of that, both Robert Kelker-Kelly and I have been let go from our roles in this show. Now because a little something called "storyline" means nothing to the producers and writers of this show, ABC and the heads of daytime have decided to rush us through End Game. You're all here because it's vital to put as many people in this storyline as possible in order to have VOLUME where there is no SUBSTANCE. Now, I trust you've all been working on this show long enough to know that this is standard procedure and that any loose ends and unanswered questions that will  be left by this abrupt departure from the original storyline will be left entirely up to your imaginations. Any questions?

Boytoy #1: A message for you, Madame.
Helena: Thank you, Boytoy #1. I appreciate the discretion you used in passing me this note.
Boytoy #1: Well, Ma'am, that is what you pay me for. That and all that horrible, terrible, traumatizing, psyche-scarring sex we have after light's out.
Helena: Good boy. Now run along and polish Madame's cat o' nine tails.
Boytoy #1: As you wish, Madame.
Helena: And as for you three bumbling nitwits, the end to this story will unfold in due time. In the meantime, don't try to escape. There are guards everywhere and if the guards don't get you, I'm sure the powers that be here at ABC will find some other hokey, contrived way to detain you. A bientot!

Stefan: We have to get out of here, Alexis!
Alexis: Tell me something I don't already know! Staying in this storyline will ruin whatever chances we have of being nominated for a Daytime Emmy. Or even a SOD Award!
Stefan: I'll work on the vent over there. You see if you can talk Bobbie into a lesbian sex scene to keep me distracted from my perilous fate!
Alexis: For pete's sake, Stefan, look at her pants! How the heck would I be able to get them off her?
Bobbie: I can hear you, you know.