Stavros: I re-created our honeymoon suite at the Screw-N-Go Motel, Laura.
Laura: I can see that.
Stavros: I did it all for you, Laura. To show you how much I love you, that I'm a changed man.
Laura: Changed man? A monster like you could never change!
Stavros: I couldn't harm a hair on your head, Laura, even if I wanted to! My testicles are shrunken from 20 years of being frozen and as a later, laughable fight scene will prove, the part of my brain that fights effectively has been completely shut down!

Laura: Rose petals on the bed. How romantic.
Stavros: You say romantic and yet there's a definite hint of sarcasm in your voice.
Laura: Maybe because you don't stand a chance in hell with me. I don't like or love you, Stavros. I could never allow a man to touch me unless I could at least tolerate him.
Stavros: Well, that explains why you never let Scotty touch you.

Stavros: Perhaps this fine, expensive jewelry would help change your mind, Laura. These sapphires match the blue of your eyes.
Laura: I don't want it. If it doesn't come from the Wal-Mart jewelry department, I don't want it.
Stavros: And I guess that explains that thing hanging around your neck ... Anyway, I have a whole tray of jewelry over here if you'd like to--

Laura knocks the tray of jewelry over ...

Stavros: Alright, Laura, I've been patient with you. I have controlled my desire to kiss you, rape you, hurt you, beat you and give the viewers some idea of just WHY you should be afraid of me ...
Laura: Don't touch me!
Stavros: Shut up! The cute and cuddly Stavros who lurks in underground caves, drinks fine wine from a refurbished cryogenic coffin and tries to seduce his son's girlfriend is long gone, woman!

(scuffling ensues)

Stavros: You should have just listened to me!
Laura: Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!
Stavros: After all these years, Laura, you still fight like a girl. Could you please stop flapping your hands like a dolphin, please? It's annoying and it does .. not .. hurt!

(door bursts open)

Luke: Unhand her, uncouth scoundrel!
Stavros: Oh, of course! Only you, Luke Spencer, could break through a door made out of 100%, genuine, soap opera quality steel!
Luke: She's done with you, Popsicle Stick! Move away from her NOW!

 

Stavros: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I've been in suspended animation for 20 years, you stupid shit. And I'm supposed to be afraid of you? Look at me! I'm healthy! Strong! Virile!
Laura: Don't forget extremely good-looking!
Stavros: Extremely good-looking! I have perfect teeth ....!

Stavros: .... while you, you are a pathetic, weak, gray-haired dingaling!
Luke: Well, we'll soon see in that later, laughable fight scene you promised which one of us is the weaker one!
Stavros: It's a date!