Helena: I guess you're all wondering why I brought you here.
Stefan: Not really.
Alexis: Me, neither.
Bobbie: Will there be snacks?
Helena: SHUT UP! Now, Alexis and Bobbie, you stand over there and you promise not to go anywhere, while Stefan, you will be tied up with some rope I bought at a discount hardware store.
Alexis: I hate having to stand over there. Couldn't I stand closer to Stefan while he gets tied up and then not untie him when everyone's not looking?
Helena: Whatever you want, you irritating little hoo-hah!
Bobbie: I'll stand over there, too, and I too won't untie Stefan when nobody is looking.
Helena: Just go! My guests are arriving!

Helena: Ahhhhh, Luke! How delighted I am to see you here! I don't know how you got out of that hospital bed and into this underground lab of mine, but--
Luke: Shut up, lady, and let's get this storyline over with for once and for all!
 

Helena: Well, now that I have you all here -- Stefan, Alexis, Bobbie, Luke, Laura, Gia, my darling Nikolas -- I'm going to finally tell you what you're doing here. Welcome .......... to End Game!
(long silent pause)
Helena: I said WELCOME ...... TO END GAME!
Nikolas: Well, what does that mean exactly?
Helena: Let's keep that a surprise, shall we?
(long silent pause)
Helena: Allright, then .. WELL, what would a party be without a special guest? And I am indeed pleased to announce that we have a special guest.
Bobbie: I hope it's not Al Roker.
Alexis: Or Regis Philbin.
Helena: SHUT UP! It's not Al Roker or Regis Philbin. Now just sit or stand looking terrified as the door opens, please!

Helena: Well. Lucky. I'm so glad you could meet us here. I've been trying to reach you for a long time now ....
Nikolas: This fucking hangnail ..
Helena: Could we please stay focused on this terrifying moment, please? Would it kill you to look afraid? Now ... Lucky. As I said, I'm very pleased to see you here and I'm so delighted that everyone is assembled to see the end result of all those weeks of tension, all these months of wondering where my brainwashing was going to take you and make you do ...

Stavros: Speed it up, will you? Maybe cut out a few of the dramatics here? My plane leaves in 40 minutes, my wife's waiting in bed naked for me and I have to shave and alter my appearance so none of my friends back on the East Coast will ever know that I was involved in this mess of a show.
 

Helena: Look, Lucky. It's your old friend, the Ice Princess. The invaluable diamond I have carried around in my purse on the docks of Port Charles. Look at it, Lucky. Now, you've been a bad, bad boy, my dear, but rather than our usual spank-and-confess session, you're here to fulfill the life-altering destiny that I molded for you when you were kidnapped all those months ago. Lucky, before your friends and family, you will perform the heinous, unspeakable acts I programmed you to perform. You will forever alter the canvas of this show. Finally, after all this time, the viewers will see why so much air time was wasted on your brainwashing, why I spent so much time holding up this ugly rock and why a once-promising friendship between you and I was allowed to disintegrate into a cartoon-ish farce of a relationship. Do we understand one another?

Lucky: I understand allright. I understand that that's just a rock. And you're pathetic. And even more pathetic than you are the many viewers who are actually watching this right now when they knew damned well this storyline wasn't going to go anywhere. And even more pathetic than them are the producers, directors, writers of this show who are, as we speak, congratulating themselves for a storyline well-executed. And even MORE pathetic than them are--
Luke: We get the picture, Cowboy.